So drained

I feel so tired. Today was a calm day, but the long hours take a lot out of me. There was also an accident downtown blocking the c-train line delaying me from going home for quite some time. Half way through the week already though. It's sad that I spend so much time thinking about just wanting to get through work combined with not wanting to go to work.
Today was kind of upbeat though. I had something to think about today, what I want out of life in the next year or two and trying to figure out a fixed-income investment strategy that I want to try. On the first one, I wonder why I like the idea of living in a place that can be used as a social hub but I don't really feel comfortable in large social gatherings and previously, I've never taken advantage of having a place I could invite people to before.
As for the second one, I find myself asking two questions, if I had a variety of investments before the current mess began, what would I have sold by now? If I were buying right now, what would I buy? Eventually, I had an idea. The 5-year fixed reset preferred shares seem to have really taken off in terms of offerings. Maybe I could mimic the laddered bond portfolio approach. Also had me thinking about the difference between growth potential and financial security. Are there differences between who I would invest in bonds with and who I would invest in common stock with. Thus far, I'm not really sure.

bad dreams

Had a rough night today. Wouldn't be writing about it if I didn't wake up so close to when my alarm clock was set. First dream, everything was breaking down, busses, industrial ovens, cameras, mugs, I forget what else. Second dream, everyone was passing me by. I hate when I feel as though I've lost a lot.

What do I want in a dwelling?

I'm trying to answer the question of what I'm looking for in a place. Thus far, I just want to stay portable. I suppose some place that doesn't take much looking after. I'm not interested in having pets, but I'm ok with living with them. I suppose when you don't intend to stay for very long, not much really matters as long as getting to the next place goes quickly. Of course, location always matters. After much prodding of bus schedules, I figured that the north east line of the LRT works best for me.

I wonder how many blog posts I've made while sitting around dreading work. I sure do spend a lot of time thinking about it. Hopefully when I finally move, I'll be able to cut my commute a lot and give myself more time during the week. That should make it better. Not sure what else I want to look for when looking for a place. I just want to be cheap and mobile.

Earth Hour 1%

All that advertising and well, we beat last year's record by 4.5%. Instead of a 3.5% increase in power consumption during earth hour, Calgary's power consumption decreased 1%. It seems like a lot of work for not so much reduction.

Month End

Hmm, I almost don't remember what I usually calculate at the end of the month. Anyway, here goes:
gross pay: 2629.75
net pay: 2106.80
spending: 220.17
student loan repayments: 225.91
savings: 2106.80 - 220.17 - 225.91 = 1660.72, wish it was higher
Not sure what sort of commentary to make at the moment. I picked up a bunch of blank dvds, want to back up some things. My photo collection is four dvds already and I have a few rather photo intensive events coming up. It's also nice to back up my laptop's entire hard drive, though it's a bit of a mess right now, so a bit of clean up and well, two copies will easily fit on one dvd. Also, I got reusable bag credits 9 times this month. That's pretty good. It was 5 in January and 4 in February.
I've got the radio on right now and Dr. Laura just said something that really hit me. Playing worker ant isn't living. I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. Can't wait to be done with that. I should get my final tax receipts next week and be able to file my return. This year I'll be getting money back, next year I'm thinking that I'll have enough investment income that I probably won't be getting money back. Either that or be pretty close. Refund probably shouldn't come till end of may, start of June. Should have vacation pay coming around June, also have profit share coming up in July. Also have money coming from managing the family firm in the next quarter, both the stuff I loaned it and something for my troubles. I'm hoping to make some significant progress towards not being a worker ant in the next couple months.

Small Wish List

47 days down. Somehow that's moved to the top of my mind. Anyway, end of month three, and the end of 2009Q1. I'm trying something new next month, volunteering. More of a hanging out with a bunch of fun folk, taking pictures and having fun. At least that's my impression of what's going to happen. Maybe I'll be wrong. I've got a goal of taking 200 pictures at that event. Also contemplating a new camera. There's a kids IR spy cam on clearance at walmart that I'm thinking about. Maybe if it gets marked down further. There's still quite a few. Part of me feels saddened that it's probably a sign that there'll be fewer non-main stream goods attempted.
Other than that, I'm hoping to get another good deal on my investments, positioning for another purchase next month. How well that goes weighs in on my spending as well.
Also on my shopping list, I feel the need for a pencil case. Pens and pencils are organized easily enough, though I'd also like to keep staplers and eventually a three-hole punch there and I also have paper clips to store. Strangely for something this cheap and simple, I don't simply go out and get a pencil case. Maybe that's taking things too far, but I like to survey my options before I get something. It brings me joy. I also don't have my own three-hole punch yet.

House hunting

I took a small step today. Thus far, I've kind of been ignoring that I need to move eventually and not doing anything about it. I finally let someone know that I'll be needing a place eventually. Very nervous and scared about this.

43 days down. I feel so depressed right now. It's like I'm not really living life but rather just watching it go by. I can hardly imagine doing this for the next year, though I think I might have to hold out another two or three. Though I could just as easily find myself going through decades waking up every morning to set out to do something I don't really want to spend my time doing and spending my free time making sure that I can continue the cycle. Living should really be more than perpetuating existence.
Right now, I just want to curl up in bed without the prospect of having to face tomorrow.

Oh, More Credit Card Rewards

Question of the day, will switching credit cards for a different rewards program help me. Right now, I’m using a pcfinacial MasterCard, I get 1% back on my purchases in the form of pc points. The card I’m looking at now, the ScotiaBank Momentum Visa card, 2% back from participating merchants. It however has a $39 annual fee. It’s actually a sad thought that maybe I won’t be able to get $39 of benefits from a rewards program. Anyway, I have data so I can make calculated decisions.
Besides the $39 fee that needs to be made up, there’s also the reusable bag credits that I collect when I go grocery shopping. Switching to a Momentum Visa means that I won’t be getting pc points for those bags. Year to date, I’ve been credited 15 times, and the trend shows that they’re actually applying the policy more frequently now. Either that or Sunday is just a bad day for trying to get credits. They’re 50 points each and the exchange rate is 10000 points for $10 or 10 points for one cent if you want to calculate easily. So, I have collected about $0.75 worth from those bags already. Not bad. If we just assume that a quarter of the year has passed, and we’re a little under that point right now but not too far, I’m looking at about $3 for the whole year.
Now for the other side, the extra 1% from participating merchants. Besides the way out there data that people wouldn’t normally think of tracking, I also have information on how much I spend, what it was spent on, where it was spent both location wise and store wise. I usually get my groceries from the Real Canadian Superstore, I see they’re on the 2% list, as well as Co-op, Sobeys and Safeway. That just about covers every place I get groceries besides the odd ethnic place I might go to. Also on the list is Shoppers Drug Mart, I get my transit passes from there. That pretty much sums up what’s on the list. Absent are any electronics shops, dollar stores, movie theaters, video stores, restaurants, and other places I occasionally spend money at. Rather than sort through the list, I’ll just add up all the money I spent so far this year, a whopping $483.69 since my cost of living is suppressed. Most of that is at places that are on the 2% list, lets just assume that the rest of it compensates for this not quite being a quarter of the year yet. Multiplied by four, then again by 1%, and I’m looking at a difference of $19.34. That doesn’t even come close to meeting the $39 annual fee so I may as well stop calculating here. Simply put, I do not spend enough money to benefit from this offer. It’s actually kind of scary that I need to double my spending for this. When I move out I’ll be spending more, but things like rent and utilities, the two big increases, do not qualify for an extra percent, so whether or not I will after is up in the air.

Buy, Sell, Diversify

Well, I suppose I was extremely lucky to buy two weeks ago before the stock market shot up. Earlier today, I was looking at a $1200, or almost 15%, gain on my previous purchase. I guess it's only about $950 now. However, earlier today, I was wondering if it was a good idea to sell and buy back later, though I still feel that it is probably undervalued. So, do I buy more instead. Then again, it's also about a third of my small investment portfolio so maybe I should buy something else instead.
It's hard to make investment decisions when when you buy has such a large influence over returns. Timing is so much more complicated that deciding which businesses will probably do ok. Earlier, I was wondering if I should put some money into the horizon beta pro for the stock market going down. Notably, if the money was available at the time, and I wasn't so timid, I'd probably still have lost money at this point. Things went higher than expected. I'd probably have posted about that if it weren't for work.
undervalued. It's hard to make investment decisions when when you buy has such a large influence over returns. Timing is so much more complicated that deciding which businesses will probably do ok. Earlier, I was wondering if I should put some money into the horizon beta pro for the stock market going down. Notably, if the money was available at the time, and I wasn't so timid, I'd probably still have lost money at this point. Things went higher than expected. I'd probably have posted about that if it weren't for work.

Challenging norms

I sit here looking at my dresser with three drawers poking out just a bit wondering what is the point of that thing. I haven't opened the drawers in so long. Depression makes you not want to do things and putting laundry away is one of thing I've been slow at. After simply having had laundry in a big basket for so long I question why I spend time putting it in a dresser or if I would even have one if there wasn't already one here. Am I just afraid to question the norms I grew up in? Having a basket of mixed clothing seems to work well for me. I can tell at a glance what I have to work with and it's easy to spot a few neat combinations. Downside being that it is wrinkled but that's nothing that's bothered me before.

Whoo Splat!

Off time now and I hardly know what to do. It feels like I'm crashing. Everything just wants to stop. The stark contrast between my working and non-working days. 39 days so far this year. I'll guess about a fifth of the year down.
My work takes an incredible amount out of me.

Minimum wage update

Minimum wage has changed from $8.40hr, to $8.80/hr, or at least it's due to this year. I guess that means I'm now looking at $352/week or $18304/year as a target. When I have a better grasp of living expenses, I'd like to switch to a living expenses as a percentage of net worth target. It seems more meaningful when yield spreads are wild for different assets.

If life were a checklist...

I'm just starting to realize that I've done a lot of neat stuff in my life so far:

1. seen the curviture of the earth
2. seen a real nuclear reactor
3. planted a forest
4. fought of forest fire
5. operated a wind tunnel
6. worked on a full scale tractor-trailer wind tunnel test
7. worked on what'll hopefully get the title of the world's largest optical telescope
8. been head of a corporation
   
9. visited the forest moon of Endor filming location
10. been stabbed
11. gone a day without food
12. been inside a trash compactor
13. experienced zero gravity
    

I'm sure we've all had our own little adventures, some a little more adventurous than others.

I guess before I say more, 35 days down as I go back for another week of work. I don't know what I hate more, the haphazard records of the company that was dropped on me or the dull monotony and industrial conditions of the company I work for. Anyway, I really want to get away from things and just do something big, wild and outrageous. The more I learn about seafaring, the more it feels like I've barely scratched the surface on what there is to know before one sets out on the ocean, though someone suggested a Calgary to New Orleans river trip. I do want to be in motion for a while. Something about changing scenery helps make things feel like they're going somewhere.
Oh yes, the monitor I picked up happened to be a dud, there's a strange buzzing noise and oddly enough it'll work with my laptop but won't do anything with my desktop.
Hmm, other news. I made a good call last week in letting my money stay put till next week. Bought at a much reduced price, however towards the end of the day the price sank further. Question of the moment is what do I do if the price goes back up again? Do I take the chance and sell hoping to buy again at a lower price? Then there's all the other questions of what next. I suppose I'll have to cross that bridge later when I see how things change over the next while.
I still feel very unsettled and want to ramble, but I don't know what more to say.

A need for simplicity

I cracked while trying to reconstruct the books for 2008. There are way too many missing documents and there's even more recent ones that I can't find. After this, I just want to settle down and clear things out. Things should be simple and straight forward. Searching around everywhere for something every now and then sucks.

Daylight Savings Time

Personally, the idea of daylight savings time puzzles me. The idea of starting the day earlier to save energy/money, is a puzzling concept to me. If it really made sense, people would just do so. Unfortunately, if you're the first, you incur losses associated with having different office hours. So the state steps in. In a free economy people can't tell you when to open and close your business but the power to decide what time it is rests with the government and they choose to exercise it. So, does daylight savings actually save energy? I don't think it would have been extended if it didn't.
So, question now is what is this a symptom of? Too much inertia in the system to operate efficiently? I don't know.

If I had a million dollars...

What would change if I suddenly had a million dollars?

• I would probably keep working to try to avoid letting it get to my head
• I'd probably pay off my debt and start acquiring some fixed income investments
• I'm not sure if I'd pick up a netbook yet, but I probably will when the next atom hits the shelf, other than that, I don't think I'd really make any serious computer upgrades
• I probably still won't drive
• I'll spend more time looking for a new place to try out
• I'll be happier

I'd probably put off most of the major changes in my life. Though I'm not looking at a million dollars on the horizon, I'm still trying to figure out what to do when my inheritance frees up. Fixed income investments needs more study. Of the six points listed, one, four and five are the only ones I think I'll be sure of.

Whoo free monitor

well, was putting off replacing my monitor for a while and sure enough, someone throws out a working monitor while I'm trying to decide what to do. It's roughly comperable to my existing monitor, I just hope it doesn't have any intermittent problems that I don't know about yet.

Interesting thought while shopping

I was wandering around and ran into an item that I didn't expect to see. It was a package of plastic balls, kids play in big pits of them. It was an interesting moment for me, I was laughing and arranged them in a stack a few different ways trying to estimate the volume of them. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that it would take about a week's pay to create a modestly sized personal ball pit. More importantly though, I came to the conclusion that I really can have what I want, no matter how eccentric it is. Nothing would have stopped me from pouring pack after pack of those into a kiddy pool, or for the depth I was eyeing, putting four pillars on a piece of ply and surrounding it with a tarp. I just have to figure out what it is that I want and as long as priorities are covered, most things aren't too outrageous.