Saturday, February 7, 2009

More Questions than Answers

This week I find myself asking a lot of questions. One of them being why I suddenly and mysteriously have more energy than I used to. Unexplained sudden change worries me. It's a good thing that I feel more awake now, but what is causing it?
Also regarding my health, there's another spot on my back that I have no idea about. Part of me worries that it might be something serious. My dad started getting all sorts of spots when his schleroderma flared up. There's also the positive ana, and cold extremities.
I'm also starting to get a grasp of just how destructive a search for personal happiness can be. I'm sure there are many drug addicts that started off because they simply wanted to be happy and that was the quickest way. Bad things happen when we ignore consequences. I'm making a lot of big decisions and while I can recognize that there are no right answers here, there certainly are a lot of bad answers.
Later on though, I was reminded of Terry Fox. He had something that he felt would make him happy and it turned out to be something beautiful. Of course, one could also argue that he was in a position where there really weren't any more long term consequences to his life so he could do anything without regret.
I'm also reminded that most people say that you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did. Anyway, I wonder what I could do better right now as I'm sure many of us do.

No comments: