Very Bad Sign

After a week of working, I slept an extra four hours on the first day of my weekend. Didn't know my sleeping pattern was that bad. I've really got to do something about that.

More Questions than Answers

This week I find myself asking a lot of questions. One of them being why I suddenly and mysteriously have more energy than I used to. Unexplained sudden change worries me. It's a good thing that I feel more awake now, but what is causing it?
Also regarding my health, there's another spot on my back that I have no idea about. Part of me worries that it might be something serious. My dad started getting all sorts of spots when his schleroderma flared up. There's also the positive ana, and cold extremities.
I'm also starting to get a grasp of just how destructive a search for personal happiness can be. I'm sure there are many drug addicts that started off because they simply wanted to be happy and that was the quickest way. Bad things happen when we ignore consequences. I'm making a lot of big decisions and while I can recognize that there are no right answers here, there certainly are a lot of bad answers.
Later on though, I was reminded of Terry Fox. He had something that he felt would make him happy and it turned out to be something beautiful. Of course, one could also argue that he was in a position where there really weren't any more long term consequences to his life so he could do anything without regret.
I'm also reminded that most people say that you regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did. Anyway, I wonder what I could do better right now as I'm sure many of us do.

plans change

Well, I started developing additional symptoms so I decided not to go in for overtime after all. I'm not the only one getting worse apparently, my dad is as well, and I got to see him today. Something feels strange about going out of my way to see someone who is sedated. I mean, you're not supposed to be aware during that, are you? Anyway tube everywhere, many panels of information.
In lighter news, I did some very rough calculations today and came up with a figure that says I'm probably about 1000-1500 working days from some kind of freedom. I kind of feel like starting a counter. Of course, that's still four to six years of work. That is still a very long way away.